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Breaking - The War Against Bieber Has Begun 

Today in a surprise White House press address the President decided to use his handy pen to declare his newest Executive Order - War on Bieber. According to the press address , President Barrack Obama has "Simply had it with these Bieber shenanigans," and "Will not stand to watch or allow anymore." The President initially swore to "lock his [Bieber's] a#$ up in Guantanamo, and open a can of Bush error torture up in his [Bieber's] sh*t," but then rescinded that statement, and acknowledged "That it was simply in the moment." 

During the press address Michelle Obama and Hillary Clinton flanked either side of Obama's podium, and each sported black hoodies, imprinted with a picture of the young pop star under a large red X. 

Obama did acknowledge that "perhaps this was not the best use of the U.S. Military, but that given our track record on war over the past decade, who really cares anyway." He then went on to propose that "h%ll, maybe the little sh^t has nuclear weapons stashed in Calabasas."

Congress does have the power to pass legislation to cancel the executive order, but at this point no such action has been taken, and it would appear that no such action will be taken. Following the press conference John Boehner tweeted "@BarrackObama Nice decision on the exec. order today man. That little sh#t isn't even gonna know what hit him. #bringthebigguns #bipartisanship." 

Troops have already been deployed, and have been seen canvasing area's of the country looking for the famed singer. Rumors of an all teenage girl militia that utilizes guerrilla war style tactics have been publicized but not rightfully confirmed. 

The White House did confirm that there is no need to worry, and that the personal safety of all American's will be preserved during this dark time. "You don't need to hide in your home or anything. Just go about your normal lives, and we will take care of this little Tupac wannabe." Promised a confident Obama at the close of the press address.